how would u feel if u were disabled and ur hubby left u cause his sister told him tooMy sister says I should leave my disabled veteran husband, what do you think i should do?
I would highly suggest you make an apt. %26amp; go talk to your family Dr. Yes, I realize you ARE going thru a rough time. I will NOT disregard that fact. But, YOU CAN do something about your depression. I myself am on a depression medication. I KNOW just how much it can HELP you in that area of your life. If his condition keeps worsening, you really don't know how much longer you are going to even have him w/you! He still has a heart %26amp; feelings. How would you feel if you were in his place. You'd KNOW how much you were hurting your spouse, how much he/she was devoting all her time to you. But, she still stood by your side. She still loved you nonetheless. He is the SAME person you married 38 yrs. ago. He's not physically abusing you in any way. He cannot help the situation he's in or you KNOW he wouldn't have chosen it. Wouldn't you in your heart feel better knowing you did everything you could for him while he was still here w/you rather than just ';toss'; him aside because he was of no more use to you?! You pledged to marry him in sickness %26amp; in health when you BOTH were young %26amp; healthy. Now that you've gotten older, things have chged. %26amp; it is no longer the same. But it still is NOT his fault. Don't you have some friends you could do things with that would help make your life brighter for you. People to do things with, go places with. You don't have to stay w/him 24/7, there are folks who can come in %26amp; stay w/him while you go off for a day, afternoon or evening. Is there anything the government could do to help you out in that area of home health care? I just couldn't in my heart turn my back on someone I loved because they are sick. That's the ONLY thing that's wrong w/him. He surely didn't ask for this %26amp; I'm sure he's aware of what's going on to some degree at least. IF you cannot help him %26amp; it's also hurting you physically, I'm sure there is a place he could be taken to to at least alleviate the pressure from you. Go have a talk w/your family Dr. %26amp; see what he/she suggests for you. I'm sure something could be worked out rather than just divorce him because he's ';sick';...I DO wish you the best, I truly do...:)
Didn't your wedding VOWS say for better or worse, in sickness and in health? WOuldn't you expect him to stay and help you if you were the one with the problems? After 38 years, you have to expect some problems. and yes, yours are difficult to live with. BUT it's all part of the marriage package that you signed on for 38 years ago. Tell your sister that you are going to do the right thing and she can either help and support you, as most sisters would, or she can take her criticism and bad advice and just go away!
What happened to in sickness and in health, for better or for worse!?
Put the shoe on the other foot - what if this was your husband asking this question about you - how would you feel
Wedding vowels?
Wedding vows - where are yours?
Do you put at much thought into putting down your dog? You married this man for better or for worse. Your sister is a poisonous weed. Why does she want to destroy your marriage? I am sure you are depressed, but that is to be expected with your husbands ailments. Maybe you need to get involved in some support groups for vet wives or something. Or doesn't the word commitment mean anything anymore?
Would you be leaving because of the effects of his disability or did your marriage always suck?
Because leaving a previously good marriage due to health issues is selfish and low.
The emotional baggage you are carrying is killing you.
If the question was ';do I need to get out of this marriage?'; (it really doesn't matter that he's a vet, or that you have been married for 38 years) the answer would be YES!
You have allowed him to be dependent on you, this was unfair of you and of him. You have become codependent.
Please get out of this relationship today, not tomorrow. You need to get a life of your own, in which you can grow as a person. Take care of yourself.
First off, your sister should mind her own business.
Second, marriage is for better or worse and I personally think you owe him the benefit of trying to make it work before throwing in the towel. He sounds depressed, as do you. Get therapy/marriage counseling.
wow if you do your hella f'k up
What would you do if that were you..?
That is selfish! You married him WHY? He is now disabled and you want to leave him! Shame on you! You said 38 years ago';good times and bad, sickness and health too death do you both part'; RIGHT than what is wrong with you!!! I know that you need affection and love but just think how he feels! It is probably taring him up to be that way! Its not his fault that he can't perform sexual things for you anymore! Look I am not trying to be a b***h but that is sad! If he is totally disabled than find someone to please you and someone to talk too just don't leave him lonely that may kill him!!!! Good luck!! PRAY ABOUT IT!!
In a question five hours ago, you stated your husband was only interested in making sure he was taken care of during sex. He was not concerned if you were in the mood and now he can't perform. You mention nothing about a disability, check your previous questions before you start trolling.
Marriage is for better or worse. Maybe you should speak with his VA counselor and let them know what is going on with him. You have an obligation to live your own life as well. When it gets to a point where you feel lost then you should get help. You are of no help to him if you need help yourself.
If you are depressed and apathetic you need to see a counsellor. You can't be expected to carry the weight of the world on your shoulders forever.
A counsellor can be a great sounding board for all the things you want to say but are afraid to tell to anyone really involved in your life.
Ultimately only you can make this decision, but speaking to someone earnestly about it can really help steer you in the right direction.
And no, you are not selfish and low. You are a human with a large burden on your shoulders.
What and loose the pension, you are kidding, right
Tell your sister, to mind her own business,this is between you and your man, if he treat you well and looked after you, and your needs, when he was not ill, and you still love him, well thats up to you, and only you, if you were in your mans position would you want him, or expect him, to look after you?, If you can answer this question honestly I think you might have your answer! Goog luck to you both,,,
umm dont you remember your wedding vowels?*
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