Do you know everything about your husband or wife?

Should 2 people know EVERYTHING about each other before getting married or into a serious relationship or starting a family ?





If you have a past criminal record ( serious felony charge) would you keep this from them ? Are somethings better kept hidden ?





If you have children - would you tell your children that you committed a crime in the past ?Do you know everything about your husband or wife?
I do not have the need to know everything about my husband. As long as his past is his past and that his past will not affect our lives and future......I really don't care.....I am too secure within myself to ';need'; to know every detail about his every experience or mistake. And unfortunately, a lot of people throw a person's past in their face during a fight, which violates the trust of your spouse who shared the pain of his ';mistakes';.


And it is public record that you can obtain, if a person is worried about their partner's possible criminal background.





And no, I would not share a criminal past with my children, as long as it did not affect their lives......that past mistake would be between me and God. Why would I hurt my children like that? And some children would use that kind of information to justify breaking the law themselves......';Oh, mom did it, so I can too';.....Nah, I don't think so......LOLDo you know everything about your husband or wife?
Everything is a little much, I would not want all of the tiny little details.





But, you should know ALL of the major stuff as well as their views on many things - children, finances, division of labor, etc., etc. Keeping a past crime from your future spouse - absolutely not. They need to know so that they can make an informed decision about marrying you.





Before marriage you need to do a lot of talking and this is why it's better to date for a year before marriage at a minimum - so you can learn about the person you are marrying. You need to see them in many, varied situations to determine what kind of person they are.





My husband and I used to talk for hours while dating, learning about each other. We dated 1 1/2 years before marriage. We've been married for 22 years now and we really love each other. Has it been easy - not always. But we were friends first and that has helped during those very stressful times of life.





As for telling the children. We have teens now and we do share our past mistakes and point out the consequences of the mistakes and how we could have handled it better. We use those things as life lessons. They did not need to know when they were young children, but teens need information as they start dealing with bigger life issues.
Jackie this might be the turning point in your life but as adults that look to be as responsible as possible, to build a good sound, loving, honest and trust Worthy relationship, ask yourself this, isn't it the right thing to do? To build a house you would need good, solid ground...the same principle to relationships. How does one do this well when you are giving one another quality time of yourself and not rushing things, the relationship will blossom on its own. All this to say that your past is what it is and yes you need to have a heart to heart talk with your mate and let him know that if you guys are moving on to a higher level, sharing your past is needed. It shows that you are not ashamed, not afraid and you are willing to open up to him to share who you were, are and the woman you are working on becoming. Having children into the mix is even more of a stepping stone for you guys. Just look at it this way, when you are not hiding from your past, it will not run up on you and tear everything you've built up because there is nothing to hide from, your closet is empty and you feel good about yourself. Your past should never be your guide to your future. It is whatever you want it to be, be it good, bad or the ugly. Lesson learned and now life begins but if you are still living that life style than you need to use your children as the weapon needed to give yourself that extra push to move forward, up and away from anything and anyone that will hold you down, from the positive side that is, good luck I know you can do it. By the way, if he can't handle your past, his lose, that isn't who you are any more and EVERYONE makes mistakes in their life's and deserves a chance to show the world how different I am.
Well it's a little hard to know everything before you get married. Alot happens in one person's life. Somethings you just simply forget to mention/talk about unless there is a smilier conversation going to jog your memory of what happen in your past.





I think the important things, like criminal history, children, ex wives/husband should be talk about. It would be nice to know those things in case something happens in the future then you won't be in the dark. Like if a ex wife comes after your husband for child support and brings up.....';be happy I didn't take child support from you when you were in jail';. If you found that out, after being married for 10yrs, I am sure you would be wondering.. what's going on?





However I do believe that everyone is entitled to keep some things that happen in their life private, unless they want to tell their spouse.





Now, when it came to my husband. I didn't know everything, but I knew alot. We met I was 16, he was 21. So the adult life he led, I knew well before I married him.
Yes you should tell your partner all serious things about yourself before starting a family. They need information like you were a felon, or a hooker in the past, to be able to decide if they want to be with you. If it is questionable to you, then you should bring it up and let your partner make his/her own judgment on the issue.





Children do not need to know that you committed a crime in the past, unless it directly effects their lives in some way, and even then not till they are old enough to understand.
A relationship is built on trust. If you start the relationship out on lies and hiding things, this could be setting the relationship up for disaster. There are certain things that need to be shared, like children, criminal records, etc. Little things like ex's need not be discussed, but the others are a HUGE deal. It's always important to be open and honest.
Your past is your past. Some if it 'just happened' and some of it leaves a mark on you and some of it you do need to explain.





The ones that leave a mark on your life you should explain to the right people. Criminal past is an example if it is going to impact your future with your spouse in terms of jobs, credit, etc then you have to tell. Having kids is one I'd think you'd have to share.





As for your kids that is situational.





Other things you have to decide....past trouble with durgs or drinking that is truly past...lovers...abortion....things you regret. Those are up to you. If you do it to explain why you are the way you are now it is fine. Otherwise keep it to your self. Great examples of this are the old 'I got drunk at a party and ____ '. That could be had sex with a strange guy(s). But it never happened again...so be a guy or a girl it happened...you regret it...and it is over....keep it.





BC
You should know everything about your prospective partner especially if they have a criminal history.
My wife and I were honest about everything, it is the only way a marriage can work.
If you plan on marring yes !!