When your husband asks you to have threesomes or watches hard core porn?

do you feel disrepcted... and do you not trust him as you did first without him ever telling you or doing these things.. do you hate him more for it and walk on shells?When your husband asks you to have threesomes or watches hard core porn?
I would file for divorce. Threesomes are adultery so I would get a lawyer and file for divorce. Then he could do as he pleased.When your husband asks you to have threesomes or watches hard core porn?
I have looked at ';hard core'; porn, and I have asked my wife to have a threesome. We had one once. It was pretty darn good, but not so great for both of us that we've ever bothered to arrange another one.





Disrespect? Lack of trust? Hate? These are words that must surely come from someone who greatly fears sexuality. Unless he is looking at it to the *exclusion* of having sex with you, your husband looking at porn affects you in no way whatsoever. And if you don't want to have a threesome, so what? ';No'; is a perfectly acceptable answer.





I don't get why you're turning this into something so horrible in your mind.
My husband asked me for a threesome and I said no (because I'm not that attracted to women and he's not attracted to dudes).





As for hard core porn though...why would that make me feel disrespected? He's not disrespecting me, he has needs. And If I'm not willing to have sex with him for whatever reason, I'm not going to expect him to just sit in bed and masturbate all night with nothing to look at.





Plus, I watch porn too.





The only times I've seen porn cause problems in relationships is when ONE spouse doesn't like it. If both spouses like porn, then there's no problem.
No one thinks their spouse will ask them that till they do. Sure it changes everything. There is no going back to the way it was cause now you know that secretly he wants something you are unwilling to give him. You know taht in his mind he invites another woman to share what you thought was only yours. Now even if he told you he was joking you would not believe him cause you know in your heart that he would jump at the chance to do this wild crazy fantasy.


As for staying or leaving it is something you can only decide. Love doesnt have an off on button so you cant turn off your feelings even though you feel hurt and betrayed. You wonder about how you fell in love with him and if you really even know him. Are you still able to have sex with him and not let this get in your head or are you thinking of this now and not able to 100% be with him now?


5 years from now he will still be the same guy with the same or even new fantasies. Is it something you can live with or not? In 5 years you willl be older with fewer resources and fewer choices than you have now. You can use this as a wake up call or a good night its your choice.


good luck hon, I know this is hard.
The threesome question was just asked 5 minutes ago, and well answered. Look at recent questions before you add your own.





As for the porn, 99% of all guys watch it, and of the married men, many couples watch it together. It can be a fun experience- lots of laughs, too, because 90% of the guys are hideously ugly, and 100% of the actors can't act. Either way, you need to understand that your perceptions as to what's normal and not may not reflect reality.
This is called adultery. It is defiling the marriage and it is just wrong. Of course any ';well most'; women would feel betrayed by this behavior. Sin and sexual perversion has become so common in our society and it's sick and sad how many people might think there is nothing wrong with a man bringing someone into his bed to actually cheat in front of his wife or watch porn to cheat that way. So very sad. Good luck. Find a man that will honor his vows.
I would NEVER give my permission for a 3 some. I think that is just tacky and only causes trust issues between adults. As for the porn, I have watched it with him . I would prefer to watch it with him rather than him watching it alone. It doesn't happen often in fact it hasn't happened in a few years. I don't see a problem with it as long as he is with me and watching it with me.
Yes, My husband asked me for a 3some before we got married. I told him no, he left it alone then, but it did hurt my feelings. I don't like when he watches porn, i feel it is disrespectful. So he stopped for awhile if he wanted to watch it he'd ask me to watch it with him. I don't get in to any hardcore porn so it was mostly soft stuff. But now we don't even do that...we have a baby on the way and are growing up and try differnt things in bed together.





I think if a man asks these things Maybe he's getting bored of doing the same old stuff. And I'd Ask him about his fantasys and tell him mine. I'd tell him I'm not comfortable with a 3some So list other ones. And I'd tell him mine too. Totally surprise him one day by doing something that you've never done..
No


Threesome is a fantasy of his. Don't hate him for it. Like you don't have a few of your own?


As for the watching hard core porn, watch it with him. What could it hurt.


As that being said, it's up to you. But don't hate him for it or lose trust in him until he acts on the cheating role.
All I can say is that I'm glad my husband does not believe in things like that and does not allow porn into our home.


I do not believe in those things either and I do not believe in walking on shells around anyone. All hell would break loose if my hubby should ask these things of me and I would throw his *** out and divorce him!!


Me.....Walk on shells. Surely you jest.
especially when it comes to sex.. if you say it's a no go or you aren't comfortable.. that's the end of discusssion. If he ever makes you feel like if you DON'T watch this or have the 3some.. that he'll leave you.. then he clearly doesn't care. Don't do anything that you don't want to do in order to keep ANY man. my ex once asked me to do a 3some and my reaction was much like yours.. i was disgusted. The thing that hurt me most was that he wanted to share me.. i couldnt stand that.
i do feel disrespected marriage is just us not watching or participating with others! he should have thought about this before he popped the question. i don't hate him but now i feel awkward and we don't do it as much. he also tries to do other things i don't want to do and has done them anyways.
Don't do anything that compromises your self-respect. If he wants you to have threesomes and you don't want to...don't do it! As for the porn...that's is iffy. If it's getting in the way of your sex life than it's a problem...you figure that one out...





Good luck!
No, it never bothered me for him to ask.. I think one of the many keys to a great marriage is talking to one another about your interests / fantasies... having said that, if he continued pressuring me to do something I didn't want to do, after we had discussed it.. then I would feel disrespected..
Would you ever ask him to have a three some with two guys? No, so don't be talked into doing something for him. My ex. boyfriend used to do this all the time and I never did. He's convinced other ex. girlfriends to do this, but I think you lose self respect. He's a selfish jerk if he doesn't consider your feelings. Tell him to buy a couple blow up dolls!
My ex was that way and he eventually cheated, my guy now isnt that way. Yours is addicted. You wont change him sorry. I am so happy now and dont ever worry about my guy he has respect and control. It took me awhile to relax and trust but its been 5 years and he has never done that crap to me.
that would bother me a lot because i wouldnt want to share the person i loved with anyone else, thats like telling them its okay to cheat on you in front of you, and by the way you worded your question, i believe you know the answer to the question yourself lol
My husband and I know eachother limits. Threesomes no. A marriage is complicated with just two people...why add another? Porn is negotiable. If we do watch it, it has to be something we both enjoy.
I would feel disrespected, I certainly don't want the porn to be the hors d'oeuvres and I'm the dessert. Sounds like he's watching to much porn.
My husband would not ask me to do either but if he did I don't think I would be able to respect him and without respect there is not a grounded marriage.





GOOD LUCK.
I would rather him watch the hard core pron. that way he can give it to me hard! And not be thinking of another woman while doing it!!
It's so demeaning ! Please don't accept that kind of garbage. Surely you deserve to be treated better ?
My stomach would turn inside out all the way to the divorce court.
Oh hell.....just go for it!
i would love it to death cause my mate did the same
He sounds like a sick sex-obsessed perv. Tell him to get over it or you'll move on.