How would you react if your husband told you he thought about hurting you?

He was so hurt and mad about something that I did that he was going to basically rape me. He told me he thought about it but stopped himself. How would you react if your husband told you he thought about hurting you?
Go to a marriage counselor or talk to him and try to solve the problem that would make him want to hurt you. If he ever does hurt you physically you should contact the police thoughHow would you react if your husband told you he thought about hurting you?
Wow, I'm so sorry. That is not OK at all. The fact that that crossed his mind and he had to stop himself from raping you - I would not feel safe living with him anymore. What are you feeling? You need to listen to yourself. You know him better than anyone here, and whether you think he could do this to you. Do you feel comfortable sleeping in the same bed with him right now? Do you need to go stay with a friend or get a hotel room until you know what's going on?





Certainly if you want to remain in the relationship, you absolutely MUST be in marriage counseling and he MUST go to anger management classes or work a therapist about his anger. Everyone gets angry, but NOT everyone considers hurting their wives in horrible ways and tells you they had to hold themselves back from doing it. That's just not acceptable in any sense of the word, and if you plan to continue living with him or have any hope of a safe, happy future together, he needs to get his feelings under control. It is also important that you figure out what is wrong within your relationship. What did you do to hurt him? There are definite issues here that only a licensed marriage therapist can help you deal with together.





I also think that the way your husband handles himself AFTER this confession will tell you a lot. Is he weeping that he's so sorry this ever crossed his mind and he loves you and wants to go into counseling to make it better? Does he say that it's your fault that you provoked him into feeling this way? If it's the latter, that really says something about what his boundaries are. You should not be with someone who EVER thinks it is OK to resort to violence, unless in actual self-defense.





In any case, do what you feel most comfortable with right now, and by all means you need to talk with someone about your feelings. Go talk to your doctor and ask them to refer you to a counselor. If you have medical insurance from someplace like Kaiser, therapy is usually free or very low-cost. You should also talk to your friends. Let them know what has happened. They should be able to give you some perspective,since they know both you and your husband and we do not. Your friends and family will usually tell you when they think something is out of line.





I wish you the best of luck.
Does he think about hurting you all the time, or just this once? If it's all the time, it's time for to go away from him.





If it's just the one time, why was he so mad at you? Did you cheat on him or do something really bad, or was he just having a bad day? It's impossible to answer the question with so little information about the situation. Sometimes people do get angry and have the urge to do terrible things, especially if it's in response to a betrayal of trust.
I'm not at all familiar with your marriage like if it's healthy or rocky, but I would be a bit nervous and possibly a little scared as well.





Anyway, haven't you ever thought about giving him a good slap across the face when you are mad at him, but never acted on it?





You have to look at your own marriage and evaluate your own safety because none of us know you and your husbands personalities or marriage life.





Hope that you can get this resolved, but maybe you will have to talk to your husband about it because he was open enough to tell you what he had thought. He must be somehow apologizing or he told you because his own thoughts scared him. Good luck!
Yea I would say he needs help I joke with my husband all the time and say silly things like I want to stab you in the head but its jokingly and I am not mad but raping is kinda scary a lot of people dismiss it because they do not believe it is rape if you are married but no matter who want when where and why if you do not want to have intercourse with someone its rape. Maybe he has a fetish or something a lot of men have that kind of fetish I guess to show who is dominate but good luck!
Get away from the relationship. I hate to be so cold, cut and dry about it, but from experiencing my friends go through a 2 year relationship of slow-rising abuse, it doesn't get better it gets worse. Once they get the idea, then they take it to the next level during the next fight and it just repeats itself until it stops. A real man would never dream of hurting you, regardless what you did to them, and even more so if he was a real man that loved you. Then again, I'm just an outsider, it depends on if you guys fight more often than not and it also depends on what you did.





I hope things work out for you.
Then you and your husband need to visit a councilor, because even thinking of doing such disturbing things to another individual, especially a spouse, is a worrying sign. I suggest marriage counseling to resolve these issues, and to stop him from possibly hurting anybody else. He shouldn't even resort to rape at any cost, that is disturbing, so see a councilor. I suggest that if the behaviour persists, you leave him or even alert the authorities, he sounds like a potential threat.
I would be really concerned. And worried. No disrespect, but if he thought about raping you cause he was upset, could he possibly do that to anyone else? In my opinion that's something I would take very seriously. Its easy to say get him help, or ask him about it cause I'm not in your spot, and don't know how he'll react.I would say to ask a doctor their opinion. But I wish you the best of luck and to be safe. :o)
Every rapist, thinks about it, before he finally goes out and does it. You're lucky your husband gave you a ';heads up'; warning. Now don't be stupid and wait around for the next argument.





Your husband has anger issues and a desire to use rape to punish and have power over you. If you can't immediately get him into counselling, then for your own safety I would leave.
That's a little creepy... don't mention it again because he obviously loves you and he stopped his anger just.. exploding. We don't know him, but you do and you know whether he is the type of person to have mood swings and over-react.


But it's kinda scary knowing that if you had pushed him just a little bit further he might have hurt you :l maybe get one of those panic button things where you press them and they link you straight through to the police?


xx
I honestly don't know how I'd react. I'm sure all our husbands would like to knock us out once in a while, but I've never heard of one admitting it. You can look at it 2 ways, that he's super honest with you and you should be happy that he tells you that. Or run like hell, and never look back, cuz you could think if he thinks about that, whats going to stop him from doing it next time.
I would sit down and talk to him about it and tell him that what he said was a threatening remark and you will not tolerate it. if he cant except that and the remarks towards you are still being said you need to get out of that relationship. no women deserves the threats especially being raped. thats serious. actually what he did was considered Verbal Assault!


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ok so u did something really bad and his anger went to the point of sex? then he thought about it and told u. telling u was the hurt that the rape was supposed to do but he loved u enuf not to do it. if he wants to talk it out then the least u can do is listen since it was ur mistake in the first place. u can always opt for the rape later but if u r willing then it isn't rape oh well...
OMG! I would be really scared to even be in the same room with him ever again. SCARY!!!!!!! You should definitely carry mace and a cell phone on you at all times. Even when you are sitting down to watch T.V., keep that stuff with in reach. Have you had any sleep since? Good lord, I would never be able to sleep again. You need to get him to counseling ASAP. If he doesn't rape you, then he will probably rape someone else. Do have kids? Are they girls? SCARY!!!!
Jesus. I had a abusive ex boyfriend. And raping his own girlfriend becasue i was to tired one night is exactly how it started. You really need to speak to him. I wouldnt go straight in saying he needs therapy becasue that will wind a man up. But, if you love him then, you will need to see a counciler at some point.


But, dont make the mistake of staying with a man who abuses you, becasue your scared. It wil ruin your life
Part of me wants to beg you to talk to someone close to you (best friend, family member) so that there is someone in your life that has your back and is looking out for you.


Part of me wants to tell you to kill that piece of sh** in his sleep.



He needs to go to anger management classes, and both of you need some couples therapy so you can learn to fight without escalating that far. Don't just ignore this, it is a cry for help. If you value your marriage, please get some professional help.
Yeah i think i would be a little scared of him from now on. The only way your going to be able to get over this and move on is if you talk it out just between the two of you and try and work it out. If that doesnt work then i think its time that you two go see a marriage counselor.
It depends on what you did. My fiance did something so horrific to me that I seriously fantasized about having him beat up. I never did it though. The fact he had to stop himself is scary though. The thought should never have gone that far.
what the heck did you do, that is madness!! If my husband said that to me he wouldn't be my husband if you know what i mean. Even if you cheated on him with his brother you guys shouldn't be together cause you don't love him and he hates you by the sound of it
He sounds potentially dangerous...however, people say things like that when they are angry or want to do things like that. You can't blame him for wanting to. But if something like that happens again, I would get away from him as soon as possible.
thats a pretty bold statement! and a very risky one, i would definitly want to talk to him more about it. there have been many time i have wanted to hurt someone who really hurt me. that is not to say that it would not freak me out a little.
Well, its good hes not doing these things, and its good that he told you about it. Clearly, he loves you alot, but got angry enough to do bad things.





Maybe you need to reaffirm your love for eachother.





What on earth did you do that made him this mad anyway?
Divorce his ***, if he is getting irrational he needs help. Either get him help. But then again you did something to hurt him, not knowing what it is you need to step back and think about what was said and done. If you would of done the same thing
If he's had these thoughts and has the temper to back them up, then I'm sorry but it's only a matter of time before he acts on them. Get out if you can. If you can't or still love him, seek some marital counseling. Good Luck!
Run the fact he told you is worrying we all know what the next step is, if ur not willing to leave tell someone if he says other stuff or if he does get violent write down times date whats said etc... incase you need it later. if he does start hitting get outta there ASAP
I think it's an emotion hidden inside, I'm glad that he told you, this at least shows he is admitting to his emotion... Though for your own safety, I would suggest you two attend counseling so he never has to act out those emotions.
I'd find a new place to live until he had therapy for his anger problems and a couple of good clinical psychologists told me it was safe to go back. I don't think I'd feel safe going to sleep at night otherwise.
if i asked you that question what would your advice to me be? If someone had a thought of hurting you and although he told you what makes you think he won't follow up next time?
get him some help. Maybe try a marriage council or something. If you don't stop it now his thoughts could turn to actions and I am SURE you don't want that.
holy shizzzz! LEAVE HIM!


are you crazy!? call the cops!


get out.





he could kill you!


if he's crazy enough to think about raping you.





woahh, LEAVVVEE!


as soon as possible.