I seem to be waiting for my husband to get better when its not going to happen.How do I get over this feeling?

Almost 5 years ago he sustained a tramitic brain injury. He is now permantly disabled. I am his caregiver. I'm in a perpetual waiting pattern which causes me to get very little done with my life. How do I break this cycle. I see my 18 year old son doing the same thing. We just keep waiting for dad to come back. He never will. ( I have tried support groups but they just depress me more) What is the magic secret?I seem to be waiting for my husband to get better when its not going to happen.How do I get over this feeling?
Take this for a grain of salt.





You're longing for what is no longer here. We hold on to things, especially one another. But we are very fragile, and we break easily. But for some reason we always assume that everything will go well, and are shocked when it doesn't. You're problem is reconciling the facts with your internal concept of the way things should be.





Not to sound stupid, but remember Forrest Gump and his box of chocolates? It's kinda like that. And sometimes the chocolate we take is not what we wanted.





I think that you are probably in a very sad situation, and your life has been permanently disrupted, and this is what's causing you the most heartache. You need to take care of you just as much as you take care of him. JUST AS MUCH! If that means going away on a vacation by yourself or with friends, then so be it. Also, find others in your community that may help you with the burden. You have to find a release for yourself.





Good luck.I seem to be waiting for my husband to get better when its not going to happen.How do I get over this feeling?
this is your fate and destiny, accept it , the sooner your accept it, the ease you will feel and brighten you will be to handle day to day routine
There is no one right answer to this question. Everyone is different. I myself am not terribly religious, but I think in this situation having the support of a congregation would definitely help. I know that growing up members of our church volunteered to help families like yours even if just for a few hours a week so that you could have a little me time.


He did not ask to be in the situation, but at the same time neither did you and I am sure that it is difficult not to be resentful at times.


I wish you happiness.
THERE IS NO MAGIC SECRET.............. TIME IS SUPPOSED TO HEAL ALL WOUNDS
You clearly need a good therapist. Go out and find one, because you definitely have a lot of stuff that you need to talk about.